It’s in the still moments in the pockets of silence in noisy rooms in the spaces between pressed bodies that I find that my heart still beats unevenly, still hasn’t found its rhythm, still trips over the shards of your promises.
It’s in these very moments when all is gay and merry when laughter fills the room that I am unable to join in as I find that I must fight back the tears at the very thought of you.
It’s the second it takes for a joke to register and my smile to form. The time between seeing your face and remembering you aren’t mine.
If you listen carefully you can hear the pieces fall.
Luckily no one listens, or cares and thus the sound of heartbreak seems like a deafening silence.
So in my silence please know that I am trying my best to muffle the sound of all my hurt and tears. If you hear it, smile and pretend you didn’t.